Rhymes With Winning

Starting a blog like this when the Charlie Sheen thing hits is like happening upon a truckload of bananas before visiting the monkey whore house.  "Winning" hysteria has taken the country by storm with more force than the Ebola virus.  People think he's crazy.  People think he's losing it.  Nope.  Not true.  He's got his shit together tighter than a crab's ass.  Did you see the interview last night?  I did.  You think he's crazy?  Crazy like a fox.  Yeah, he gets blackout drunk, finds ways to smoke cocaine, and does shit in bed that even hookers get weird over.  But he did all this while dominating network TV and being the highest paid actor on the air.  Tell me that you wouldn't be doing the same shit.

But you say, "no way, he's totally lost it now ... have you seen him speak?"  Yeah, I have.  I also think that he's bored as shit with CBS and knows Two and a Half Men was going to jump the shark in about ten minutes if he didn't do something.  Super Charlie to the rescue.  Acting all bi-winning and awesome.  When he and CBS sort their shit out, tell me you're not going to watch the crap out of that half-assed show.  You are.  And he's getting ready to shoot Major League 3.  You know what's more effective and more fun than a press tour?  I'll tell you.  What Sheen is doing right now.  Major League 3 will be the highest grossing movie of all time when it comes out, if for no other reason than because people want to see if Sheen chokes out Wesley Snipes, snuff-films Rene Russo, or eats the rosin bag.  You'll watch it, and he'll make eleventy million dollars.

Seriously, this guy is on fire.  He started a twitter account yesterday.  And although he had yet to tweet anything, he had over 700,000 followers.  Rhymes with winning?

So hats off, Charlie.  Keep winning.  Keep pumping that tiger blood.  Keep partrying in ways that make Keith Richards and Frank Sinatra look like droopy eyed, armless children.  Keep living the dream.  I'm with ya, Adonis.

And yeah, some of this clip is in Spanish or some shit.  Why?  Bilingual is bi-winning.