Alaska Makes Another Case For Worst State In America

Woman trying to pet moose in Alaska park gets kick

(AP) – 4 days ago

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — Don't mess with the moose. That's the warning police in Anchorage, Alaska, are repeating after one of the animals kicked a woman in the chest and shoulder at a city park. She was checked by medics Monday afternoon and didn't have to go to a hospital.

The Anchorage Daily News reports the moose had been in Town Square Park most of the day feeding on trees. The woman in her 20s was attacked when she tried to pet it.

Police spokeswoman Anita Shell says the moose is not a threat unless provoked, so people need to give it space.

Thanks for the heads up, Associated Press.  Good to know.  Just so I'm clear, don't fuck with wild animals that are the size of a Buick?  Don't do that?  OK, got it. 

For fuck sake, that moose should have wound up a little more and put his hoof through her face.  That chick's genetic makeup should have been weeded out through natural selection a long time ago.  I can just imagine the dumb ass lessons that her ancestors had to learn.

"No Steve, don't try to ride the sabertooth tiger."

"Get out of there Ted, you shouldn't pee on bee hives."

"Stop Suzie, you can't fly!"

"No Jimmy, don't put your dick in that panther's ear."

Give me a friggin' break.  Trying to pet a moose?  Come on Alaska, have some pride.  First you give us that prick Trajan Langdon, then you throw Sarah Palin at us, and now you have this stupid shit trying to play with a moose?  Kill yourself.