Celtics Sign Mandatory Odd Looking White Guy For Fans to Root Uncontrolably For

Today the Boston Celtics signed NBA free agent big-man Troy Murphy.  Murphy has been a solid player at the NBA level after an All-American career at Notre Dame.  He will add rebounding to a suddenly depleted Celtics front line just in time for the final regular season push.

More importantly, however, Murphy satisfies the Celtics seeming team requirement of having a foolish looking white guy who can sort of shoot and just runs around like a drunk cow on a frozen pond.  I can see why the Celtics need this semi-mascot, though.  Did you ever go to a game at the Garden when Scal or Harangody got in the game?  The place lost its shit.  It was like they were seeing Baby Jesus battle Hitler or some shit.  The crowd's collective breath hung on every move these guys made.  And with the Celtics trading away both Harangody and Semih Erden, Murphy fills the void.