Great Rivalries

I was listening to the Scott Van Pelt show yesterday.  Probably should have been working.  Wasn't.  Water under the bridge.  Anyway, Ryen Russillo was talking about Heat/Knicks and how it was a pretty legit rivalry back in the day, when Jeff Van Gundy was attacking Alonzo Mourning's leg.  Now, with Melo and Amare in NY and LeBron, Wade, and Chick Avatar in Miami, maybe the rivalry is back.  Between all of that, and the fact that UNC/Duke is this weekend with Carolina playing some decent ball, I got to thinking of rivalries that need to stay awesome, come back, or calm the fuck down because they're not cool.  And because everyone loves lists that they can read through in about ten seconds, here ya go ...

Awesome Rivalries

• Sox v. Yankees:  To this day I won't read Yankee Magazine or go to a Yankee Swap because I'd feel like a shit face for doing it.  Also, I don't really read and Yankee Swaps are ridiculous for so many reasons outside of the shitty name.
• Celtics v. Lakers: Take in the awesomeness here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7r6vXeOfyQ
• Game On! v. Cask'n Flagon:  Pick one and stick with it. 
• UNC v. Duke:  Normal dudes versus prissy rich kids who rape strippers.  Classic.
• Rocky Balboa v. Ivan Drago:  If I have to explain this you're probably British or something stupid like that.
• Artie Lange v. Joe Buck:  Any excuse to throw this link in here is an excuse I'll take because I can't stand Joe Buck  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj8y2Oi1lFk

Rivalries That Need To Come Back

• Any Boxing Rivalry:  Two dudes who just want to kill eachother for real.  And more importantly, pay per view fights are the best excuse I've found thus far to get shit-tank drunk and scream like an asshole at your tv.  I mean, not that I need an excuse.  I'll throw in a Perfect Strangers tape in to the old VCR box and rage.  But boxing just seems more natural.
• Tennesse v. UConn Women's Hoops:  Can you feel that?  Can you?  Know what it is?  I do.  It's the sexual tension getting ready to explode between Geno Auriemma and Pat Summit.  Hot.
• Ohio St. v. Michigan:  It's not much of a rivalry when one beats the other one seventy hundred to nothing for seven years in a row.
• Shawn Michaels v. Brett Hart:  The Excellence of Execution got hosed.
• USA v. USSR:  Not in hockey, just in general.  Let's get aggressive kids.
• Daniel Larusso v. Johnny Lawrence:  I would literally pay to watch them fight now ... they must be like 50 and take prostate medicine.
• Zack v. Slater:  Given how slutty Kelly got when she headed to 90210, they would have fought to the death.
• Ireland v. England:  The fire ... umm ... actually, lets just let that one chill.
• Beavers v. Cadets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMyuv3wkTJs

Rivalries That Suck

• Cowboys v. Redskins:  The Cowboys aren't good at football.  The Redskins aren't good at football.  Go away.
• Harvard v. Yale:  When half the people watching the game could play in the game, that's just stupid.
• Army v. Navy:  I get it, trust me I do.  But when was the last time you watched the game because you wanted to watch the football, and not because you felt like you had to?
• Hank Steinbrenner v. Whoever He's Pissed At This Week:  Dude, just shut the fuck up.  You're not your dad.  He made something of himself.  You just shit around, ripping butts and shooting off your mouth like you did something to be where you are.  The only thing you ever did was beat out a few of your dad's sperm.  Shut up ... just shut up.