The Knicks thought they were getting Kelly ... They got Tori

So I just posted about the Perk trade.  That got me thinking about NBA players on the move.  That got me to Melo and the NYK.  That got me to thinking about when NYK thought they had LeBron.  But they didn't get LeBron.  LeBron went big time and became part of the Big Three Douche Bags.  I was trying to think of what that would be like.  Thinking that you have an all-time great, and end up with a volume shooter who doesn't play defense and isn't a physical freak, but rather an illegitamate child and a few chicken wings away from being Shawn Kemp circa Cleveland Cavs.

And then it came to be.  It's like being Zack Morris, thinking you'll have Kelly for the rest of your life.  Then she goes all 90210, gets slutty and awesome.  And instead you wind up with Tori.  A leather jacket and sweat pants wearing, chia-pet hair growing lesbian who was probably just waiting for her turn with Lisa Turtle (can't blame her there).  So yeah, NYK is Zack, thinking he's all gravy with Kelly/LeBron, but instead he winds up with Tori/Carmelo.  Don't know what I'm talking about?  Well unless you're Canadian or some shit like that, you should.  But just to drive home the point, see what he traded in below.  Not that I really give a shit.  I hate the Knicks, the Heat, LeBron, and Melo.  But if hating things stopped me from talking about them, I couldn't converse about anything other than Boston sports, girls I want to bang, and booze.  Speaking of which, where did I put that bottle of Old Crow?